Some Haikus

A lot of people I know think all poetry is aloof and pretentious, so I wrote these down-to-Earth, practical haikus to show them otherwise. While reading them, keep in mind they lost something when I translated them from my original Japanese draft.

Employees must please
Before returning to work
Wash their goddamn hands

A bed, forks, knives, gas
These and other pictographs
At exit fourteen

Inside on page three
One may learn the latest from
Brangelina’s baby

Be warned, the subway
Contains a hidden peril
So please, mind the gap

Yes, that may be so
But if you think about it — wait
What was I saying?

Twentysomething male
Seeks companion for long walks
And please, no fatties

Beyond these closed doors
No man dare pass, for there lies
The women’s bathroom

Its days here numbered
This milk is doomed to expire
May Fifth of this year

In the coming days
Opportunity may strike
If you’re a Leo

Say, are those moon pants?
Cause your ass is terrific
Now that’s a haiku!

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