Just Don’t Ask for the Specials
Cafe Vague
Brunch/Linner Menu
All-Day Breakfast (Till 11 AM)
Several Eggs, Any Style
—-With your choice of bacon, hash browns, fruit and toast, or eggs.
Fried Flatcakes
—-In berry, chip, or milk style, served with tree syrup and fresh creamery
spread.
American Omelette
—-Made with farm fresh, grade-A eggs, and whatever else is in an omelette.
Freedom Toast
—-Thick slices of challah bread, soaked liberally in freedom and fried.
—-(Note: freedom toast is not free.)
For Commencers
“Soup du Jour” of the Day
—-Today it’s chicken noodle, but chances are you’re reading this after
today.
Astoria Salad
—-Lettuce, tomatoes, a different kind of lettuce; all that salad
shit.
Stuffed Mushrooms
—-Grilled portobello mushrooms, stuffed somewhere.
Escargots in Garlic Butter
—-Are those snails?!
Entrees (It’s French)
Spaghetti in Red-Colored Sauce
—-For carb counters, spaghetti can be prepared as one long, unbroken spaghetto.
Served with balls.
Fish
—-A dead fish to eat. Served with the head. Classy.
Our Famous Meat Steak
—-8 oz. of the choicest beef-flavored animal. Served with creamed spinach
and silverware.
Personal Pan Pizza
—-Serves four. With your choice of topping: ham, pineapple, or Hawaiian.
Traditional Mango Slurry Casserole
—-Just like Mom used to make. Served on a plate.
Food Sandwich
—-On bread.
Just for the Kids
“Dinosaur”
“Super Hero”
“Harry Potter”
“Screaming”
Drinks, Spirits, and Liquor
Beer
—-Draughts, domestic, and imported, in unlabelled bottles.
Mixed Drinks
—-A nearly infinite selection of drinks are possible from our make-your-own
cocktail bar.
Wine
—-Our wine list, available on request, features an extensive array of
reds, whites, etc.
Moonshine
—-We do not offer any kind of illegal homemade whiskey. Ask your server.
Deserts (Desserts)
Turkey Farm® Brand Ice Creamy Dessert
—-Try it à la mode!
Homestyle Pie
—-With a variety of fillings. Keep sticking your finger in until you find
the one you want.
Flan
—-I’m not sure what this is.
A Selection of Fine Confections
—-The dessert cart is making its rounds. You probably just missed it.
Keep waiting.
A gratuity will be added to your bill, to be determined by your server
based on his or her performance. And remember our guarantee: if we’re not smiling when we bring you your food, we’re not happy.
I love the idea of the waiter deciding what the tip will be, based on his performance.
-Nick
jeeeeeeeeeeeeesus that was funny
This sounds like a tasty cafe. This is some good stuff. Especially the freedom toast.