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Ten As-Yet Untapped Rickroll Opportunities
Just when you thought Rickrolling was played out, I dragged it back, kicking and screaming, from the grave.
- at President Obama’s inauguration speech
- at the Super Bowl halftime show
- on every TV channel, repeating continuously, for 24 hours straight
- replacing the disc in random copies of GTA V
- during the safety orientation onboard a flight
- projected on the Moon
- as the only available ringtone
- as the new national anthem
- in your dreams
- at Rick Astley’s funeral
I am never going to give this up.
A Message to America’s Advertisers: Money Does Not Talk
Recently, a new genre of commercial entered America’s radio and TV landscape, and quickly saturated it. In these commercials, actors portraying America’s founding fathers (plus Lincoln) complain, in a modern setting, either about which dollar bill bears their image, or how that bill is being used.
Now there are two reasons these ads bother me. One is that they are annoying. The other is that they paint a disturbing picture both of our most beloved presidents (plus Franklin) and of the afterlife itself. These commercials posit that either these men are repeatedly driven to descend from Heaven and whine about the most superficial aspects of their legacies, or else their souls are contained in all of the existing money with their face on it. This is a particularly depressing interpretation, as it forces us to imagine our forefathers trapped in a living death, forever staring at the inside of a wallet from millions of pairs of unblinking eyes. What’s more, when they are temporarily freed and allowed to speak their mind (at a commercial taping, for instance) they still only complain about car insurance.
Pictured: Regis and Kelly Interview the Bitter Ghost of Abe Lincoln
I, for one, would like to see these commercials taken off the air, and replaced with a more tasteful campaign of my own design. These would be restrained, historically-accurate period pieces, in which the Golden Globe-winning cast of HBO’s John Adams would discuss the future in realistic dialogue, predicting which fast food restaurants and financial websites would be the best in 250 years. Also, I would play Alexander Hamilton.
The Beat
xtranormal is fun.