Terrible Foods
For God’s sake, don’t make these foods! Send them back to Hell!
1. Piggles – cucumber-shaped pieces of pork, dyed green and flavored with artificial vinegar
2. Live Snake-O’s – baby garter snakes with their tails tied around their necks, kept alive with black magic and sold in a cereal box
3. Retarded Veal – genetically engineered to avoid the ethical complications of eating veal
4. Fartdried Tomatoes – it works if you try long enough
5. Two Girls One Cup-A-Soup – self-explanatory
6. Hannah Montana’s Juice Pack On-the-Go – an IV full of high-fructose corn syrup
7. Can of Beer in Vodka Sauce – also the pull-tab came off
8. Tripe Roll-Ups – in two classic tripe flavors: washed and unwashed